In a day and age of "friending", "being a fan", and even the emergence of LinkedIn LIONS (super networkers or connection collectors – your call), the question of how many true and stable social relationships one can maintain definitely comes up….at least in what I do.
Enter Dunbar's Number and the commonly cited approximation of 150. These are:
…relationships in which an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person…
I suppose this number varies depending on what you do and what priority you place on maintaining or developing relationships. I have an open "friending" and connecting policy where I rarely reject a connection…but, again, this is what I do and is consistent with my blogging efforts to connect with as many people as I can even though it is more of a one to many relationship.
What do you think? If you look through your contacts in MS Outlook, Gmail, or contact management system, your LinkedIn connections, your Facebook friends, or even Twitter followers/following, how many do you have? How often do you truly connect vs. comment on a post, read a status, or send an email to check in?
It takes effort to build relationships and they are best built when you don't need something. I always try to ask folks I meet with how I can help them vs. putting myself first. Give it a try. I promise it will be much more rewarding and appreciated than always wanting something for yourself when you get together with someone.
Maybe it is possible to have more than 150 true social relationships. I know I am going to keep trying.